Rude's Bad Hair Day
by Cueball
Summary: Rude has a bad hair day... Stupidity ahead... Rated for possible Language...


"Rude! Man, what the hell!"

"Have you got a Razor?"

"Dude! You have hair!"

"I know... Now have you got a Razor?"

"How'd it grow so quick? You were Bald last night!"

"I have a condition..."

"A condition? It's not contagious right?"

"No Reno... It's called 'Rapid-Hair-Growth-Atitus'... My hair -at least. the hair on my scalp- grows twelve times as fast as normal... I have to cut it each day... Or I look like this, for some reason it only grows to this length..."

"Damn... Thats some messed up shit!"

"I know... It's also known as the Hero Complex... Every lead character in Final Fantasy games has got it, notice how everyone has short Spiky hair...? Now have you got a razor?"

"Do I look like a guy who cuts his hair? And your a Turk! We're bad guys! Final Fantasy never revolves around a bad guy! So why would you have it?"

"Don't you shave? And I have it because I'm the main character in this story based on Final Fantasy VII(A/N: Best game ever!)... Go figure..."

"Oh, not with a razor..." Rude sighed, he ran a hand through his now spiky black hair, it wasn't really that bad... It reminded him of that guy, Tseng hated... Speaking of Tseng, he remembered what happened last time he had gone into work with his spiky black hair...

"Rude... Dude... Why didn't you shave it this morning when you got out of bed?" Reno asked, snapping Rude out of his day dreaming.

"My house blew up..."

"How!"

"I put some of that popcorn, you know the kind that you get in a metal dish? The kind your supposed to put on the hob-"

"Yeah, yeah, what about it?"

"Well anyway... I put some of it in the Microwave, a minute later it blew... My whole apartment was destroyed... Good thing I was getting the newspaper at the time... So thats why I want a Razor..."

"Damn! Your shower too?" Rude nodded. "What about your booze?"

"All of it... Thats what the Firemen said had caused the blast, the microwave blew, which made the gas that was leaking into my apartment from next door catch fire and that caused the Booze to catch fire, which caused the fireworks to set of, that made the-"

"Damn... Well, we better get to work, Rufus probably needs his Nappy changed..." Reno cut in, not wanting to know how the many Grenades, Firearms, Aerosols and the many other things that could go boom -and there where plenty in Rude's apartment- had to do with the explosion that had taken out the block the two Turks where standing in front of. Reno turned and got into his car, the once Bald man got into the passenger seat.

* * *

"ZACK! I'LL KILL YOU!" Tseng shouted as Reno and Rude stepped onto the Turk floor. Tseng rushed Rude and dived onto him and began pounding at him. "HOW DARE YOU TAKE AERIS FROM ME!" He shouted, Reno managed to pull him off of the now hairy Turk.

"Tseng! Thats Rude!"

"Oh... Sorry Rude..."

"Why'd you jump on him?"

"He looks like somebody I hate..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No... Is it that condition again Rude?"

"Yeah..."

"Why didn't you shave?"

"Metal... Microwave... Boom..."

"Oh..." Tseng replied, not knowing what he was talking about, but taking it for an answer. Elena stepped out of her office, wondering what all the noise was about.

"Hey! Who's the new guy?"

"Thats Rude..." Tseng and Reno said together.

"No it's not! Rude's bald! And he's listed in the obituaries as dead by massive explosion! So does this mean that this is his replacement? I'm not the Rookie anymore?" The men sighed... Blonds got stupider every couple of seconds... Except Scarlet... She didn't need a brain because she only thought of one thing all the time...

"Of-coarse I'm not Rude! No, I'm just a big and muscly guy, that wears the same custom made Shades as Rude!"

"Cool! So what's you name?"

"Elena... Your such a moron..."

"Thats a weird name... But ok! I'll just call you Rookie!"

Rude looked to Tseng and Reno for help, but they were on the floor in stitches, due to laughing. He sighed.

"So Rookie! Your kinda cute! Want to go get a drink?"

"Are you paying?"

"NO! A woman never pays!"

"Then no..."

"As your superior I order you to!"

"Your not my superior... I'm Rude you dipstick!" Elena tilted her nose and walked of suddenly, Reno had managed to get of the floor, despite the pain in his sides, Tseng still laughed though.

"Ha!"

"Shut up..."

"It's true though... You don't look like Rude!"

"But it's just hair! I can't look that different!"

"Hey! That gives me an idea!"

"Do I want to hear this?"

"No... Maybe... I dunno! But your going to anyway!"

"Go ahead then..."

"You look different right? So that means you could do loads of stuff you wanted to but not get in trouble!"

"Reno?"

"Yeah?"

"Your a frickin' genius!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... But what first?"

* * *

A/N: What will Rude do with his new found hair? Find out in chapter 2! Once I've written/posted it of-coarse!" 


End file.
